The Perfect Day

•   8:45 - Wake up to hugs and kisses
•   9:00 - 5 pounds lighter on the scale
•   9:30 - Light breakfast
• 11:00 - Sunbathe
• 12:30 - Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
•   1:45 - Shopping
•   2:30 - Run into husband's ex - notice she's gained 30lbs.
•   3:00 - Facial, massage, nap
•   7:30 - Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
• 10:00 - Make love
• 11:30 - Pillow talk in his big strong arms

HIM:

• 10:00 - Wake up
• 10:02 - SEX
• 10:10 - Big Breakfast
• 11:30 - Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters
•   2:15 - Enormous lunch with BEER
•   3:15 - SEX
•   3:25 - Play sports with the guys
•   4:30 - Drink BEER with the guys
•   6:30 - Meet Claudia Schiffer
•   6:40 - SEX
•   6:50 - Huge dinner, more BEER
•   8:00 - Fall asleep with BEER watching TV while dreaming of having SEX with Claudia Shiffer
• 11:00 - Full on, get down, gorilla SEX, more BEER
• 11:10 - Sleep
•   2:30 - Fart