Being Irish Means:

Courtesy of David R.

Being Irish means...

• You will never play professional basketball.
• You swear very well.
• At least one of your cousins holds political office.
• You think you sing very well.
• You have no idea how to make a long story short.
• You are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf.
• There isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone.
• Much of your food was boiled.
• You have never hit your head on the ceiling.
• You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling.
• You're strangely poetic after a few beers.
• You're poetic a lot.
• You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.
• Some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations.
• Your sister will punch you because your brother punched her.
• Many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary...and one is Mary Catherine Elizabeth.
• Someone in your family is incredibly cheap.
• It is more than likely you don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing.
• You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking.
• Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the fridge."
• You're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.
• There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger party.
• You are, or know someone, named "Murph."
• If you don't know Murph, then you know "Mac."
• If you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know "Sully."
• You'll probably also know Sully McMurphy.
• You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.
• Your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room.
• And last but not least... Being Irish means...your attention span is so short that---oh, forget it.

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