Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the
slopes as written by a New Orleans paper:
A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of
story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.
Conditions were perfect...12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness
all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire
need of a rest room. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was
relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for
female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away.
If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a
temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters.
With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking
up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an
all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no one would even
notice. He assured her, "The white will provide more than adequate
camouflage." So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants
and proceeded to do her thing.
If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right
way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move. Yup, you got it!!! She
had them positioned the wrong way.
Steep slopes are not forgiving...even during the most embarrassing moments.
Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control,
racing through the trees...somehow missing all of them and onto another
slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down
around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.
She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other
skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and finally collided violently
with a pylon.
The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull
up her ski pants.
At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her
nudie show, then summoned the ski patrol. They transported her to a hospital.
While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in
the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making
"It was the stupidest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this
ski lift and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy
woman skiing backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare
bottom hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell
out of the lift."
"So, how'd you break your arm?"