Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me (sniff) 'Married' (walk off). That's how they mark their territory. You can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes. - Andy Rooney