Stories/Jokes: Believe it or Not

Actual Welfare Apps

Courtesy of David R.

Sentences taken from actual letters received by the Toronto Welfare Department from applications for aid and assistance:

I am writing to the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

This is my eighth child, what are you going to do about it?

Please find for certain if my husband is dead, the man I am living with can't eat or do anything until he finds out.

I am very annoyed that you have branded my son illiterate, as this is a lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.

My husband had his project cut off two weeks ago, and I haven't had any relief since.

Unless I get my money soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

You have changed my little boy to a little girl. Will this make any difference?

I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and this doesn't seem to do me any good. If things don't improve I will be forced to send for another doctor.

Please send me a claim form as I have had a baby. I had one before but it got dirty and I burned it.

I cannot pay the full amount at the moment as my husband is in hospital. As soon as I can I will send on the remains.

Please correct this assessment. I have not worked for the past three months as I have broken my leg. Hoping you will do the same....

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