JANUARY - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

FEBRUARY - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into the typewriter.

MARCH - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said "2-4 years."

APRIL - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

MAY - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.

JUNE - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

JULY - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.

AUGUST - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down.

SEPTEMBER - When asked what the! capital of California was: answered "C."

OCTOBER - Hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel.

NOVEMBER - Baked a turkey for 5 days because the instructions said cook 30 minutes per pound and she weighed 120.

DECEMBER - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone.