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Stories/Jokes: Battle of the Sexes

Female Aging

Courtesy of David R.

AGE/DRINK

  • 17 - Wine Coolers
  • 25 - White wine
  • 35 - Red wine
  • 48 - Dom Perignon
  • 66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

AGE/EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES

  • 17 - Need to wash my hair
  • 25 - Need to wash and condition my hair
  • 35 - Need to colour my hair
  • 48 - Need to have Francois colour my hair
  • 66 - Need to have Francois colour my wig

AGE/FAVORITE SPORT

  • 17 - shopping
  • 25 - shopping
  • 35 - shopping
  • 48 - shopping
  • 66 - shopping

AGE/DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE

  • 17 - "Burger King"
  • 25 - "Free meal"
  • 35 - "A diamond"
  • 48 - "A bigger diamond"
  • 66 - "Home Alone"

AGE/FAVORITE FANTASY

  • 17 - tall, dark and handsome
  • 25 - tall, dark and handsome with money
  • 35 - tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
  • 48 - a man with hair
  • 66 - a man

AGE/HOUSE PET

  • 17 - Muffy the cat
  • 25 - Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
  • 35 - German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
  • 48 - Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
  • 66 - Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the Cat

AGE/WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?

  • 17 - 17
  • 25 - 25
  • 35 - 35
  • 48 - 48
  • 66 - 66

AGE/IDEAL DATE

  • 17 - He offers to pay
  • 25 - He pays
  • 35 - He cooks breakfast the next morning
  • 48 - He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
  • 66 - He can chew his breakfast
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