Courtesy of Diane R.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
here are the rules
from the male side.
Please note... these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE because they are equally
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need
it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
will act like
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
or no limit Texas Hold'em.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
1.Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
1.Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them
a bigger laugh