Why Men are Happier
Courtesy of Suzie S.
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is
just another snack. You can be president. You can
never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a
water park. You can wear NO T-shirt to a water
park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world
is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky. You
don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a
nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're
talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch
is practically expected. New shoes don't cut,
blister, or mangle your feet. One mood -all the
time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
flat. You know stuff about tanks and guns.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars by yourself. You get
extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.. If someone forgets to invite you,
he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear
is $8.95 for three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are
more than enough. You almost never have strap
problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles
in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck. You can
play with toys all your life. Your belly usually
hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of
shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. You
have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25
relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!