Drinking at Work


Reasons why alcohol should be served at work...

  • It's an incentive to show up.
  • It reduces stress.
  • Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."
  • It leads to more honest communications.
  • It reduces complaints about low pay.
  • It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
  • Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.
  • It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
  • It encourages carpooling.
  • Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
  • It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
  • It makes fellow employees look better.
  • It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
  • Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
  • Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
  • Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
  • Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
  • It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
  • Everyone agrees the work is better after they've had a couple of drinks.
  • Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
  • Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked. (?)
  • It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.
  • The janitor's closet will finally have a use.
  • Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
  • Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common language.
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