I am passing this on to you because it definitely works for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished, and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off:

• A bottle of Merlot
• A bottle of White Zinfandel
• A bottle of Baileys
• A bottle of Kahlua
• A package of Oreos
• The remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions
• The rest of the Cheesecake
• Some Saltines and a box of Chocolates

You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.