AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through
labor to have sex again.
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order
FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper
distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't
appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are
wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do
everything we say.
OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings
PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies
wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by
boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman
TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she
begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
VERBAL: able to whine in words.
WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.