Stories/Jokes: Married w/Children

Political Correctness for Kids

  • Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage restrictive."
  • Kids don't get in trouble anymore; they merely hit "social speed bumps."
  • You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."
  • You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
  • No one's tall anymore; they're "vertically enhanced."
  • You're not shy; you're "conversationally selective."
  • You don't talk a lot; you're just "abundantly verbal."
  • It's not called gossip anymore; it's "speedy transmission of near-factual information."
  • The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful; it's "digestively challenged."
  • Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."
  • You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."
  • These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically disinclined."
  • No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."
  • Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
  • You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."
  • You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor retentive athletic footwear."
  • You weren't passing notes in class; you were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
  • You're not being sent to the principal's office; you're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.
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