Wal-Mart Computer Doc
Courtesy of Prentiss F.
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe
says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of
money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's
wrong and what to do
about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars....a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar
and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights
up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new
technology was, Joe
wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his
dog, urine samples
his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the
results. He deposits ten dollars. The computer prints the following:
- Your tap water is too hard. Get a water
softener. (Aisle 9)
- Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
- Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her in to
- Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
- If you don't stop
playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart