Courtesy of Prentiss F.
An old Italian Mafia "Don" is dying and he calls his grandson into his bedroom.
"Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't lika guns. Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead?"
"Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business.....you gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos."
"Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then....... pointa to you watch and say "Times up!!