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40 Things You'd Love to Say at Work
Courtesy of David R.
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I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
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How about never? Is never good for you?
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I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.
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I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
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Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
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I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
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I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.
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I don't work here - I'm a consultant.
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It sounds like English, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying.
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Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
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I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
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You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
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I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.
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I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
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I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
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Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
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The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
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Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
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What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
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I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
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It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
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And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?
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Do I look like a f..ing people person to you?
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This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
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I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
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Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
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If I throw a stick, will you leave?
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Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
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Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
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Oh, I get it. Like humor. Only different.
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A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.
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Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?
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Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
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Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?
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Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.
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How do I set a laser printer to stun.
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I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
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I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
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Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality.
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