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You Might Be a Nurse if....


  • You avoid unhealthy looking peoples in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.
  • It doesn't bother you to eat a candy bar with one hand while performing digital stimulation on your patient with the other hand.
  • You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."
  • You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
  • You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
  • You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.
  • You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
  • You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
  • You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.
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