Stories/Jokes: On the Job

Signs that You Need a Vacation

Courtesy of David R.

Your accumulated vacation hours let you retire 10 years early.

The radiation from your monitor has burnt your shadow onto the wall

Wife has more and older children than you can account for.

You've gone from decaf to espresso to straight gin.

Wastebasket in your office is full of the ripped-off faces of people who came to you with a question or problem...

You get on the down elevator on floor six, push the sixth floor button and become irritated that you are not going anywhere.

Your kids call 911 and report a burglary when you come home at early one night (8pm). They didn't recognize you ...first time you have been home before their bedtime in months.

You look at the shows can't remember if it's AM or PM.

The janitor vacuums you in the evenings

The little leprechaun, that only you can see, who keeps telling you to, "Burn it, burn it all."

You spend too much time in front of the microwave before noticing it's not your TV.

You've begun to enjoy the elevator music.

Acne at age 43.

You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip of espresso.

What shall I do today? Pretend to work ...take a hostage ... pretend to work ...take a hostage ...

Road rage in the supermarket resulting in broken bones from the canned yams.

Whenever your boss asks how the project you've been working on 14 hours a day, 6 days a week, is coming along, you laugh uncontrollably for 3 minutes, then break into a medley of show tunes.

Tylenol stock takes a nasty drop every time you take a weekend off.

A growing need to DO something about the guy in the next cube. You know, the one that makes all those annoying sounds and smells. Yeah, something...something permanent. Yeah...

Spend day staring at the squirrels on the front lawn of the building. (There aren't any squirrels at your building. There's not even a lawn).

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