Headlines from 2029

Courtesy of Michael B.

Headlines from the year: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia.

Caucasian minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off - physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica....No country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112 - Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study complete: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Japanese scientists say they have created a camera with a shutter speed fast enough to photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Asteroid 99942 Apophis, due to strike earth this year, is proclaimed by the current government as a fabrication of the George W. Bush administration (2001-2009) to continue the now defunct space program, and not to worry.

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