Hired Ranch Hand
Courtesy of Suzie S.
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but
knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put
in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have
done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town
and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock came and
went, but still no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty, and upon
entering the room, he found the rancher's widow reclining by the
fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him
over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as
"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly
by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching
her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was
told and dropped it to the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light of the fire, he
slowly pulled them down, removing one foot at a time.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town
again, you're fired!"