Stories/Jokes: Regional Humor

Things I Have Learned About Oklahoma

Courtesy of Suzie S.

  • Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
  • There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Oklahoma.
  • There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Oklahoma, plus a couple no one's seen before.
  • If it grows it sticks, if it crawls it bites.
  • Nothing will kill a Mesquite tree.
  • There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.
  • A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
  • The wind blows at 90 mph from October 2 until June 25, then it stops totally until October 2.
  • Onced and twiced are words.
  • People actually grow and eat okra.
  • Green grass DOES burn.
  • When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
  • The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.
  • When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
  • Fix-in-to is one word.
  • A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation, waterin' the cows, or swimming.
  • There ain't no such thing as lunch. There's only dinner and then there's supper.
  • Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.
  • Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
  • 'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
  • You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark.
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