State Mottos

1.  ALABAMA  -  HELL, YE-AH! WE HAVE ELECTRICITY.

2.  ALASKA  -  11,623 ESKIMOS CAN'T BE WRONG.

3.  ARIZONA  -  BUT IT'S A DRY HEAT.

4.  ARKANSAS  -  LITERACY AIN'T EVERYTHING.

5.  CALIFORNIA  -  BY  AGE 30 OUR WOMEN HAVE MORE PLASTIC THAN YOUR HONDA ~ AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!

6.  COLORADO  -  IF YOU DON'T SKI, DON'T BOTHER.

7.  CONNECTICUT  -  LIKE MASSACHUSETTS, ONLY THE KENNEDY'S DON'T OWN IT YET.

8.  DELAWARE  -  WE REALLY DO LIKE THE CHEMICALS IN OUR WATER.

9.  FLORIDA  -  HOME OF THE HEADLESS DRIVERS.

10.  GEORGIA  -  WE PUT THE "FUN" IN FUNDAMENTALIST EXTREMISM.

11.  HAWAII  -  HAKA TIKI MOU SHA'AMI LEEKI TORU (DEATH TO MAINLAND SCUM, LEAVE YOUR MONEY).

12.  IDAHO  -  MORE THAN JUST POTATOES....WELL OKAY, WE'RE NOT, BUT THE POTATOES SURE ARE REAL GOOD.

13.  ILLINOIS  -  PLEASE DON'T PRONOUNCE THE "S".

14.  INDIANA  -  2 BILLION YEARS TIDAL WAVE FREE.

15.  IOWA  -  WE DO AMAZING THINGS WITH CORN.

16.  KANSAS  -  FIRST OF THE RECTANGLE STATES.

17.  KENTUCKY  -  FIVE MILLION PEOPLE; FIFTEEN LAST NAMES.

18.  LOUISIANA  -  WE'RE NOT ALL DRUNK CAJUN WACKOS, BUT THAT'S OUR TOURISM CAMPAIGN.

19.  MAINE  -  WE'RE REALLY COLD, BUT WE HAVE CHEAP LOBSTER.

20.  MARYLAND  -  IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, WE CAN TAX IT.

21.  MASSACHUSETTS  -  OUR TAXES ARE LOWER THAN SWEDEN'S (FOR MOST TAX BRACKETS).

22.  MICHIGAN  -  FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE FROM THE CANADIANS.

23.  MINNESOTA  -  10,000 LAKES.... AND 10,000,000,000,000 MOSQUITOES.

24.  MISSISSIPPI  -  COME AND FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN STATE.

25.  MISSOURI  -  YOUR FEDERAL FLOOD RELIEF TAX DOLLARS HARD AT WORK.

26.  MONTANA  -  LAND OF THE BIG SKY, THE UNABOMBER, RIGHT-WING CRAZIES, AND VERY LITTLE ELSE.

27.  NEBRASKA  -  ASK ABOUT OUR STATE MOTTO CONTEST.

28.  NEVADA  -  HOOKERS AND POKER.

29.  NEW HAMPSHIRE  -  GO AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE.

30.  NEW JERSEY  -  YOU WANT A @%&#%&$ MOTTO?  I GOT YER %$&##@& MOTTO RIGHT HERE.

31.  NEW MEXICO  -  LIZARDS and TARANTULAS MAKE EXCELLENT PETS.

32.  NEW YORK  -  YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY.

33.  NORTH CAROLINA  -  TOBACCO IS A VEGETABLE.

34.  NORTH DAKOTA  -  WE REALLY ARE ONE OF THE 50 STATES.

35.  OHIO  -  HOME OF LAKE ERIE AND THE MISTAKE BY THE LAKE (CLEVELAND).

36.  OKLAHOMA  -  LIKE THE PLAY, ONLY NO SINGING.

37.  OREGON  -  SPOTTED OWL...IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER.

38.  PENNSYLVANNIA  -  COOK WITH COAL.

39.  RHODE ISLAND  -  WE'RE NOT REALLY AN ISLAND.

40.  SOUTH CAROLINA  -  REMEMBER THE CIVIL WAR?  WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SURRENDER.

41.  SOUTH DAKOTA  -  CLOSER THAN NORTH DAKOTA.

42.  TENNESSEE  -  THE EDJUCASHUN STATE.

43.  TEXAS  -  SI' HABLO INGLES.

44.  UTAH  -  OUR JESUS IS BETTER THAN YOUR JESUS.

45.  VERMONT  -  YEP.

46.  VIRGINIA  -  WHO SAYS GOVERNMENT STIFFS AND SLACKJAW YOKELS DON'T MIX?
47.  WASHINGTON  -  HELP! WE'RE OVERRUN BY NERDS AND SLACKERS.

48.  WEST VIRGINIA  -  ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.....REALLY!

49.  WISCONSIN  -  COME CUT  THE CHEESE.

50.  WYOMING  -  WHERE MEN ARE MEN.....AND THE SHEEP ARE SCARED!

AND FINALLY:

51.  WASHINGTON, DC  -  WANNA BE MAYOR?