In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.
Rome hotel: Fire! It is what can doing, we hope. No fear. Not ourselves. Say quickly to all people coming up down everywhere a prayer. Always is a clerk. He is assured of safety by expert men who are in the bar for telephone for the fighters of the fire to come out.
Polish Tourist Brochure: As for the tripes serves you at the Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praise to your children as you lie on your deathbed.
French Hotel: A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but no trouser.
French Restaurant Menu: Extract of fowl, peached or sunnyside up.
French Swimming Pool: Swimming is forbidden in absence of the Savior.
Spanish Hotel Ad: The provision of a large French widow in every room adds to the visitors comfort.
Madrid Restaurant Menu: Tarts of the house.
Madrid Hotel: Peoples will left the room at midday of tomorrow in place of not which will be more money for hole day.
Athens Restaurant Menu: Chopped cow with a wire through it. *Bowels in sauce** *shish-kebab **tripe