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Stories/Jokes: Believe it or Not

Car Accident Excuses

Courtesy of David R.

  • No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
  • I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
  • I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
  • The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
  • I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.
  • I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
  • On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
  • The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
  • Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
  • No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.
  • I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
  • The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.
  • I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
  • I left for work this morning at 7:00AM as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 miniutes early.
  • An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
  • I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
  • The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.
  • I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.
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