Do I Look Fat?


Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question:

  • "No, not to Stevie Wonder."
  • "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."
  • "Does this tie make me look stupid?"
  • "No hablo ingles."
  • "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kinda balance out."
  • "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."
  • "Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
  • "Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
  • "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
  • "No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."
  • "Whoa! A talking couch!!"
  • "May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"
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