Wife Mart

Courtesy of Pentiss F.

A store that sells wives opens in Dallas, TX, where a man may go to choose a wife from among MANY women. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the women increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is however, a catch: As you open the door to any floor you may choose a wife from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building--no stopping on any lower floors.

A man goes to the shopping center to find a wife. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1

These women have jobs. The man reads the sign and says to himself, "Well, that's better than my last girlfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up he goes.

Floor 2

These women have jobs, love sports, and drink beer. The man smiles to himself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?"

Floor 3

These women have jobs, love sports, drink beer, and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better!" he says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

Floor 4

These women have jobs, love sports, drink beer, are extremely good looking and do all the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the man, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more, much more,further up!" He heads up another flight.

Floor 5

These women have jobs, love sports, drink beer, are extremely good looking,do all the housework and don't bitch and gripe about anything. "Wow!..how close to perfect can you get?.. But just think...what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor he goes.

Floor 6

You are visitor 133, 956,779,012 to this floor. There are no women on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that men are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Wife Mart, and have a nice day.

Also see The Husband Store.

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