PC Flotsam & Jetsam


  • Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
  • COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
  • Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
  • 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  • Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
  • Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
  • C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
  • C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
  • -{----- The information went data way --------[
  • Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression
  • The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
  • BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
  • The name is Baud......, James Baud.
  • BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
  • Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
  • C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
  • Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
  • Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
  • As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  • Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
  • Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
  • E Pluribus Modem
  • ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  • Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny
  • A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
  • An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
  • CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/n)?
  • Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
  • 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
  • 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
  • Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
  • Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
  • SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
  • Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
  • Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
  • RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
  • Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
  • All computers wait at the same speed.
  • DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
  • Go ahead, make my data!
  • Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
  • Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
  • ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
  • E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
  • Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
  • All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
  • "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
  • DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
  • Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
  • Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
  • Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
  • Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue...
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