Stories/Jokes: Off-Color Humor

Marrying for Money

Courtesy of David R.

An absolutely stunning 23 year old girl desperately wanted to be rich.....but she certainly didn't want to have to work. She didn't like the thought of marrying a rich guy, because it would only put a damper on all her party action. After a lot of thought, she decided her best bet was to marry some really old rich guy so that her departure from the party scene would be brief.

After a good deal of searching, she set her sights on a west Texas oilman/rancher who was pushing 90 years of age. After wooing the man with all she had, they were married.

He flew her to Manhattan for the honeymoon, taking her to the fanciest suite in the best hotel in town. After getting to their rooms, the old man wandered into the bathroom. The girl draped herself in the sexiest teddy she had and stretched out on the bed thinking how after only one night, she was bound to be a very rich widow.

Presently the old man walked out of the bathroom sporting the most enormous erection the girl had ever seen, and it was sheathed in a condom. The old man had wads of cotton stuffed in both ears and a clothespin on his nose. Jumping off the bed, the girl asked "Why the hell do you look like that?".....

The old man chuckled and said "Darlin', there are two things in this world that I just can't stand.....the sound of a woman screaming and the smell of burning rubber"

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