Stories/Jokes: Regional Humor

I'm Californian

Courtesy of The One and Only Donna


  • I cuss a lot.
  • I say "like" and "fer sure" and "right on" and "dude" and "bro" and "hecka" and "hella"; and I say them often.
  • I know what real cheese & avocadoes taste like.
  • I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe and Big Bear.
  • Summers are really hot, and winters are really cold. That's the way it is.
  • I go to the Beach - not "down the shore".
  • I know 65 mph really means 80+.
  • When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger and they accept it and give it back, because that's the California way.
  • I've been to "the City" aka San Francisco and have eaten fresh clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl.
  • The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border).
  • My governor can kick your governor's ass.
  • I can go out at midnight and wear a t-shirt and shorts.
  • I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a Greek GOD.
  • I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day.
  • All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here.
  • We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them).
  • I have the most representation in the House of Representatives, which means MY opinion means more then yours, which means I'm better then you.
  • All the porn you watch is made here, cause we f**k better and thats how it is!!!!
  • The best athletes come from here.
  • I'm from California and I love it, rep it
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