Acutal Newspaper Advertisements

Courtesy of Gregory G.

  1. 1 Man, 7 Woman hot tub -- $850/or best offer.
  2. Armana washer $100. Owned by a clean bachelor who seldom washed.
  3. Snow blower for sale - only used on snowy days.
  4. Free Puppies - part German Sheperd, part dog.
  5. 2 Wire mesh butchering gloves, 1 5 finger, 1 3 finger, Pair $15.00.
  6. Tickle me Elmo, still in box, comes with it's own 1988 Ford Mustang, 5L, auto, excellent condition $6800.
  7. Cows, calves never bread - also 1 gay bull for sale.
  8. 83 Toyota Hunchback -- $2000.
  9. Star Wars Job of the Hut $15.
  10. Free Puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel - 1/2 sneaky neighbor dog.
  11. Free Yorkshire terrier, 8 years old. Unpleasant little dog.
  12. Soft and Genital bath tissue or facial tissue .89 cents.
  13. German Shepard 85 lbs. Neutered, speaks German free.
  14. Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like new, slight urine smell.
  15. Free 1 can of pork and beans with purchase of 3 bedroom 2 bath home.
  16. For sale: Lee Majors (6 million dollar man) $50.
  17. Nordic Track $300 - hardly used - call Chubbie.
  18. Bill's septic cleaning. "We haul American made products."
  19. Shakespeare's Pizza - free chopsticks.
  20. Found. Dirty white dog....looks like a rat....been out awhile....better be reward.
  21. Hummels - largest selection ever - "if its in stock, we have it!".
  22. Get a little john: The traveling urinal - holds 2 1/2 bottles of beer.
  23. Harrisburg postal employees gun club.
  24. Georgia Peaches - California grown .89 cents per pound.
  25. Nice parachute - never opened - used once - slightly stained.
  26. Free: farm kittens. Ready to eat.
  27. American flag - 60 stars - pole included $100.
  28. Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay $7 - $9 per hour.
  29. Notice: to person or persons who took the large pumpkin on highway 87 near Southridge storage. Please return pumpkin and be checked, pumpkin may be radioactive. All other plants in the vicinity are dead.
  30. Exercise equipment, queen size mattress & box spring -- $175.
  31. Our sofa seats a whole mob - and its made of 100% Italian leather.
  32. Joining nudist colony, must sell washer and dryer -- $00.
  33. Lawyer says client is not that guilty.
  34. Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember.
  35. Ground beast: 99 cents lb.
  36. Gas cloud clears out Taco Bell.
  37. Bar S Sliced bologna - regular or tasty - save 30 cents on 2.
  38. Open House - body shapers toning salon - free coffee & donuts.
  39. Kellogg's Pot Tarts -- $1.99 box.
  40. Fully cooked boneless smoked man -- $2.09 lb.
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