The Gary England Drinking Game
By Canada and Moose
NOTE from webmaster: Gary England is an Emmy award-winning weatherman from one of the three major television stations in the Oklahoma City market. He was also in the movie "Twister". Oklahoma is in the middle of "Tornado Alley" and every Spring the storms are numerous and many. Oklahomans take this in stride and with good humor, probably in much the same as Londoners weathered the bombing during the Battle of Britain.
With the local weathermen declaring that tonight we'll all die from the horrendous storms, I felt it a perfect time to remind everyone that not all will be lost. It'll be a perfect night for the Gary England Drinking Game....
*Ranger 9 is KWTV's helicopter
- Everyone selects a storm chaser other than Val Castor. Every time Gary talks to your storm chaser, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your storm chaser. Take four drinks if your storm chaser says "tornado on the ground."
- Everyone selects a county other than Pottawatomie County . Every time Gary mentions your county, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your county. Take four drinks if a tornado touches down in your county.
- Take one drink every time Gary says the following:
"Hook echo" | "Updraft" | "Metro" | "Doppler radar" | "Wall cloud" | "Ranger 9"* | "Underground" | "Mobile home"
- When Gary gives a list of counties, take one drink for every county in the list.
- Take one drink every time Gary interrupts a program. Take one drink if Gary says "You're not missing any of [program name]." Take one drink when Gary says "We'll keep you advised."
- Take two drinks every time Gary says the following:
"Baseball-sized hail" | "Waterloo Road" | "Pottawatomie County" | "Deer Creek High School"
- Take two drinks every time Gary mentions the following towns:
Altus | Burns Flat | Dill City | Gotebo | Hydro | Lookeba | Meeker | Mulhall | Oktaha | Olustee | Shattuck | Slaughterville | Tryon | Vici | Waukomis | Wayne (or Payne) | Weleetka | Wetumkah
- Take two drinks every time Gary talks to Val Castor.
- Take three drinks if we see footage from Val Castor.
- Take three drinks if we see footage from Pottawatomie County.
- Take three drinks if Gary mentions the following:
"Immediate tornado precautions" | "National Weather Service" | "Mesocyclone" | "Portable Radio" | "Take shelter" | "Tornado warning in effect until ..."
- Take four drinks if Ranger 9* must land to refuel.
- Take four drinks if Gary issues his own tornado warning, not recognized by the National Weather Service, or says the following:
"Will someone please answer that phone?" | "Do you see power flashes?"
- Take four drinks if a shirt-less tornado victim is interviewed.
Finish your drink
- Finish your drink if someone uses the word tornado as a verb or if Gary mentions the nearest cross streets to you.
- If Gary says "We've lost Val," pour a little out for your homies and finish your drink.
FURTHER NOTE from webmaster: With a little imagination this game can be adapted to whatever Mother Nature brings to your area: hurricanes, blizzards, etc.