Stories/Jokes: Miscellaneous

How to Fix a Broken Car Mirror

By Nya Nya

I am more of a breaker than a fixer. However, I recently had to drive backwards (called "backing up" by the experts) for about 15 feet and was attacked by a traffic sign turned terrorist. It knocked off the driver's side rear view know, the one that is outside the car, not the one you actually use up by the roof. It was still semi-attached by some kind of wire or something, but was hanging down and giving me a view only of my tire. Since I already know what a tire looks like, and do occasionally look when making a lane change to the left, I tried to duct tape the thing back on. Didn't work. The mirror still sagged and all I could see was the tire. The man who fixes my car when things hit it said it would cost me $150 to get it back to where I could see those pesky drivers who are always in the lane you need to be in (since I couldn't see them, I just honked and waved my hand out the window a lot when I moved toward the left and you know what, it works.)

$150 sounded like a lot, so I decided to postpone the repair, figuring 3 rights make a left anyway, and I'm never in that big a hurry. However, the intervention of a nice policeman convinced me otherwise. I had the option of paying the car fixer $150 or the City considerably more, and had 30 days to make up my mind. I was giving some consideration to holding up the local convenience store, except they know me and the nice man gave me a free Icee last summer. Time was running out and I figured I'd better bite the bullet and go see Mr. Car Fixer. Again. Then I saw this stuff on Amazon. Permatex 84101 PermaPoxy 5 Minute General Purpose Epoxy, Crystal Clear. Even the name inspires confidence...and the price was considerably lower than my other options. I ordered it, it arrived, I glued the outside mirror back on, used more duct tape to keep it in place just until I was sure the glue was set, and unbelievable, I Fixed Something. Yeah, I was kind of astounded too.

It's been several weeks and I even forgot about the glue job and took my car to the carwash, where neither the water, the brushes or the little guy with the rag could knock it off. I don't think I'll do that again, not wanting to push my luck, but as a temporary fast fix, this is just amazing. The mirror feels like its on there and really solid. Of course, calling the number on my ticket and explaining that I glued the mirror on and it was holding took some doing. I sent them photos and offered to come down in person, and finally got the citation cleared. I think they were probably just afraid of having me in their parking lot where they park their own cars. But whatever, I'm happy, they're happy, and I'm sure any number of other drivers go home at night without exciting stories about the lunatic who pulled in front of them without looking.

For regular gluing jobs, this must be even better. It's easy to use, not having to mix things, no mess. Just real sticking power.

Previous Home Next
Category Main Page

Bookmark and Share

Follow HumorEtc on Twitter