Here are actual package instructions found by actual people on actual products:

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT
"Do not turn upside down." (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING
"Product will be hot after heating."

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON
"Do not iron clothes on body."

ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE
"Do not drive car or operate machinery."

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)
"Warning: may cause drowsiness."

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE
"Warning keep out of children."

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
"For indoor or outdoor use only."

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR
"Not to be used for the other use."

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS
"Warning: contains nuts."

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS
"Instructions: open packet. Eat nuts."

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS
"Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?"