- Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
- Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
- Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
- Dog's have owners. Cat's have staff.
- Dogs shed, cats shred.
- I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?
- No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
- Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
- Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
- People that hate cats will come back as dogs in their next life.
- We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?
- Women and cats will do as they please... men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
- In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.