Stories/Jokes: Drinking Stories

Why a Beer Is Better than a Woman

Courtesy of David R.

  1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
  2. You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
  3. Beer stains wash out.
  4. Beer doesn't have to get a new dress for a party.
  5. Beer never has a headache.
  6. When a beer goes flat, you just toss it out.
  7. Beer is never late.
  8. Beer doesn't have a birthday for you to forget.
  9. Beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
  10. Beer doesn't argue with you about when to drink it.
  11. You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
  12. Beer doesn't get upset when you come home and decide to have another beer.
  13. Beer never threatens to go to a lawyer.
  14. Beer labels come off without a fight.
  15. A beer always goes down easy.
  16. You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
  17. No court has ever granted a beer alimony payments.
  18. You can share a beer with your friends.
  19. After you have had a beer, the bottle is still worth something.
  20. Hangovers go away.
  21. Beers never require expensive permanent and hair tints.
  22. Beer is always wet.
  23. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
  24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
  25. If you pour your beer right, you'll always get a good head.
  26. Beer can be easily eliminated.
  27. Beer is only stopping by, it doesn't stay around and nag.
  28. Beer doesn't demand equality.
  29. A frigid beer is a good beer.
  30. You don't have to take expensive flowers home to your beer.
  31. Beer never complains about when you come for it.
  32. You don't have to take your beer to a psychiatrist to get it to bubble.
  33. You can have a beer in public.
  34. You can see through a beer and you know what you are getting.
  35. When your beer gets upset, it settles down.
  36. Beer is subject to quality control and doesn't argue about it.
  37. Beer doesn't talk back to you and ask a lot of silly questions.
  38. Beer doesn't ask you to take a lie detector test about when you had the last one.
  39. Beer doesn't have a Mother that goes with it.
  40. If you drop a beer, there is no doctor bill.
  41. Beer doesn't have anniversaries for you to forget.
  42. Beer doesn't demand that you take it dancing before you can have it.
  43. Beer doesn't have relatives that stop by and stay for weeks.
  44. When you buy a beer, you own it.
  45. Beer never cries or gets jealous.
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