Stories/Jokes: Drinking Stories

Female Drinkers

Courtesy of David R.

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

  • DRINK: Beer
  • PERSONALITY: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
  • YOUR APPROACH: Challenge her to a game of pool.
  • DRINK: Blender Drinks
  • PERSONALITY: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
  • YOUR APPROACH: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
  • DRINK: Mixed Drinks
  • PERSONALITY: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
  • YOUR APPROACH: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.
  • DRINK: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
  • PERSONALITY: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
  • YOUR APPROACH: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years...Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.
  • DRINK: White Zin
  • PERSONALITY: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
  • YOUR APPROACH: Make her feel smarter than she is...
  • DRINK: Shots
  • PERSONALITY: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
  • YOUR APPROACH: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.
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