Stories/Jokes: On the Job

Guide to Real Estate Terms

To spare others from dashed hopes, shattered dreams, and tired feet, here is a guide to familiar real-estate ad phrases:

  • Charming - Tiny. Snow White might fit, but five of the dwarfs would have to find their own place. See "Cute," "Enchanting," and "Good Starter Home."
  • Much Potential - Grim. Steer clear unless you have a lot of money and believe your blind dates really did have nice personalities. See "Ready to Rehab," and "Fixer Upper."
  • Unique City Home - Used to be a warehouse.
  • Hi-Tech/Contemporary - Lots of steel shelving with little holes - the kind your dad used to store tools on in the basement.
  • Daring Design - Still a warehouse.
  • Completely Updated - Avocado dishwasher and harvest gold carpeting or vice versa.
  • Sophisticated - Black walls and no windows. See "Architect's Delight."
  • One-Of-A-Kind - Ugly as sin.
  • Brilliant Concept - Do you really need a two-story live oak in your 30-foot sky dome? See "Makes Dramatic Statement."
  • Upper Bracket - If you have to ask . . .
  • You'll Love It - No, you won't.
  • Must See To Believe - An absolutely accurate statement.
Previous Home Next
Category Main Page

Bookmark and Share

Follow HumorEtc on Twitter