Stories/Jokes: Miscellaneous

Funny Bumper Stickers

Courtesy of David R.

  • Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
  • If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
  • Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
  • 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
  • Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
  • You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
  • You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
  • Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
  • Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
  • My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
  • All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  • WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
  • BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
  • So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
  • I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • All men are idiots....I married their king.
  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  • Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
  • Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  • Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
  • It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
  • Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
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