Dirty Pool Problems

Signs your swimming pool needs cleaning:

  • That green tarp covering your pool? You DON'T have a tarp on your pool.
  • Neighborhood kids ask if they can jump on your trampoline.
  • That guy from Sunset Boulevard is REALLY beginning to smell gamey.
  • pH is so high, in vitro fertilization is possible.
  • Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first.
  • Skipping rocks across it causes sparks.
  • New algae species attract a Discovery Channel film crew to your backyard.
  • Jello-like water slowing the pace of water polo games to unacceptable levels.
  • Luke Skywalker and Yoda appear in search of the sunken X-Wing.
  • The Grim Reaper shows up in his Speedo.
  • "DREDGE ME" spelled out in algae on the bottom.
  • You can walk on the water, even though you're only the son of Gus.
  • Dr. Kervorkian seen filling IV bottles at pool side.
  • Your recently installed pool filter resembles the Marlboro Man's chest x-ray.
  • You haven't seen that much scum since Mickey Rourke's last movie.
  • The amount of body hair found in the drain gives even Robin Williams a run for his money.
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