humoretc.com
Stories/Jokes: Miscellaneous

Home Remedies

Courtesy of Ken G.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES . . . . . THAT WILL WORK!

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

  • You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
  • If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
  • If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Previous Home Next
Category Main Page


Bookmark and Share

Follow HumorEtc on Twitter