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You're a Crewchief if:
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You fix 30 million dollar jets, but can't figure out what's wrong with your $150 lawnmower.
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If the way you measure the cost of living in other countries is by the price of a beer at a bar.
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You've ever said, "Oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that."
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You've ever sucked LOX to cure a hangover.
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You know what JP4/JP5 tastes like.
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You've ever used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.
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You've ever had to say, "My boots are still black!" (or ever spray-painted them black).
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You have ever used soot from the tailpipe to blacken your boots.
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You believe the aircraft has a soul.
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You talk to the aircraft.
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The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.
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You know more about your coworkers than you do about your own family.
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You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist.
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You ever wished the pilot would just say, "Great aircraft!"
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You think everyone who isn't a Crew Chief is a wimp.
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You wondered where they keep finding the idiots that keep making up stupid rules.
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You consider 'Moly-B' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'.
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You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash, a yard of flight line or the keys to the jet.
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You have ever jumped inside an intake to get out of the rain.
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Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house.
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You have ever preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that the flight was canceled hours ago.
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Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend air shows with you.
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You have ever looked for pictures of "your" jet in aviation books and magazines.
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You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days.
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You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake.
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You have ever used, wheel chock, or tow bar for a pillow.
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You have ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.
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You have ever used a pair of Dykes to trim a fingernail.
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You have ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes.
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You have ever started a jet inside the hanger!
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You have ever wiped leaks right before a crew show.
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All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off.
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You have ever had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it.
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Everyone you know has some kind of nickname.
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You have used the "Pull Chocks" hand signal to tell your buddies it is time to leave.
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You have ever bled hydraulic fluid into a Gatorade bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to go get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys.
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If have you ever been tackled, duct taped to a tow bar, covered in PET and sand, egged, sourmilked, peanut buttered and jellied, and slapped under the emergency wash station in 30 deg weather?
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You know in your heart that your jet is female.
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You refer to ANY machine as "she."
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You refer to QA as "the enemy."
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You hate Ops, Maintenance Control, QA, and cops.
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You know the international marshalling sign for "pull your head out of your ass."
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You've ever worked weekend duty on a jet that isn't flying on Monday.
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You've wanted the jet to start just so you can warm up.
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You can't remember half of your coworkers real names... only their nicknames.
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Your toolbox at home has wheels and foam cutouts, just like the ones at work.
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Some of the tools in your toolbox at home are etched.
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And best of all, you know everybody you send this to will understand because they were all crew chiefs!
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