Virus Definitions

BOBBITT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attaches it. (But that part will never work again.)

AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you're getting.

MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack: Once, if by LAN; twice, if by C:

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never identifies itself as a "virus," but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism."

ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole damn thing quits.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple bytes out of your Apple.

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.