Stories/Jokes: Computer Humor

Laptop Steering Wheel Desk

Courtesy of Suzie A.

Many independent merchants peddle their products on Amazon. The folks at Amazon provide a comments section for site visitors to write reviews below the product description. Obviously this paticular item listed in the automotive section tickled quite a few funnybones:

Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk

Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk

Product Features
  • Hook Wheelmate to your steering wheel - and you've got an instant ergonomic desk
  • Light enough to carry, but sturdy enough to support a notepad, lunch, or even a laptop

A sampling of some of the "reviews":

By Jamie O'Shaughnessy (UK): This awesome bit of kit changed my life. The extra hours of work I could get in whilst driving on the freeway has made me so much more productive. In fact I directly attribute this to my improved bonuses and recent promotion! If you want to get ahead, get one of these.

There is one problem though. In several accidents that I have had whilst using this, the airbag causes the laptop screen to slam shut. I've suffered several broken fingers because of this. I have started to look around for airbag finger protection but have not yet found any...

By Linky's Dad (Alexandria, KY): My copilot and I both used these during our "daily grind" transcontinental flights from San Diego to Minneapolis. We had to modify them a bit to fit snug against the instrument panels (when we bought them we didn't realize the planes we fly don't have steering wheels!), but in the end it did the job. With our laptops firmly in place we were able to focus our attention on what really mattered, participating in raids with our WoW [World of Warcraft] clan. During our last flight we were so immersed in trying to take down Eranikus that we overshot Minneapolis by a full hour and a half before some annoying flight attendant interrupted us, babbling something about "FAA and F16 fighters."

We'll definitely use this product again at our next gig, whatever and whenever that happens to be...

Highly recommended!

By Dan: This product is really safe. Our toddlers stand on our Wheelmate while we drive. They put their hands on the dashboard and peer over the wheel for a driver's seat experience. Sometimes they dance while I drive. At highway speeds, they even have more fun than strapped to the roof of our sedan!

And, as other reviewers have mentioned, my wife always wanted a way to drive while snorting coke and chopping vegetables. This steering wheel desk system has made both passions possible simultaneously!

A bonus I've found for new dads: the Wheelmate also detaches quickly and has enough heft to respond effectively to misbehavior in the back seat. Just remember to carry a first aid kit or blood may end up on the fabric.

My whole family loves what the Wheelmate has done to us so far!

By Artist: I drive an M1A1 Abrams tank in Iraq, and this product is a godsend. The Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk - officially designated the "WLSWD Mark IV Personnel Assistance Device" by the Army - is affectionately referred to by tank drivers as the "Death Desk," and it brings a whole new level of meaning to the term "Defensive Driving." Now I can simultaneously play Halo with my clan buddies from back in the states and fire off shells at insurgent positions! Not only is this great for relieving stress, but I get twice as much practice at destroying things as the other guys in my unit! As a result, I am expecting a promotion within weeks. The Death Desk has furthered my career more than my college degree in Feudal Mongolian Studies the Army paid tens of thousands of dollars for me to get! Thanks, Wheelmate!

Occasionally, I look up to be sure I'm pointing my actual cannon in the right direction, but I haven't hit any friendlies so far. One time, I was so involved in a game that I accidentally drifted into oncoming rush hour traffic in Baghdad. I heard a few crunches and muffled screams from outside the tank, but since we barely lost any speed and all systems were still reading "nominal," I figured nothing serious had occurred, so I kept on going and killed the last guy on blue team to win the game! Our multi-billion dollar defense budget couldn't be spent any better than on the fabulous Death Desk. Hooah!

By Gift Giver (NY, NY) I've always struggled with trying to look in the rearview mirror when applying my makeup as I drive to work. Now with the laptop desk I can put my mirror right on it. (See Double-Sided Mirror classique)

No more lopsided lipstick. What a difference to be able to look at myself straight on - I can get my whole face done during the time it takes to drive to drive through the Lincoln Tunnel.

And if that's not enough, there's over 500 more here (comments section starts towards bottom of page).

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