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Stories/Jokes: Regional Humor

You Must be a Canadian if....

Courtesy of David R.

  • You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk."
  • You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
  • You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
  • You drink pop, not soda.
  • You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.
  • You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.
  • You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
  • You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
  • You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
  • You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
  • You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
  • You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians.
  • You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
  • You know what a touque is.
  • You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  • You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee".
  • Your local newspaper covers the national news on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.
  • You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and roadwork.
  • You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.
  • You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
  • You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan." (Sas-Kat-chew-wan)
  • You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."
  • You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
  • "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?"
  • You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all of your Canadian friends! Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them...further.
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