Stories/Jokes: Pets & Other Critters

Dogs vs Cats

1. A dog will tilt his head and try to understand every word you say.
A cat will ignore you and take a nap.

2. Cats look silly on a leash.

3. When you come home from work, a dog will be happy and lick your face.
A cat will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.

4. A dog will give you unconditional love until the day he dies.
Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

5. Dogs know when you're sad. And they'll try to comfort you.
Cats don't care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.

6. Dogs will bring you your slippers.
Cats will drop a dead mice in your slippers.

7. When you take them for a ride, a dog will sit on the seat next to you.
A cat has to have their own private basket, or they won't go at all.

8. Dogs will come when you call them, and be happy.
Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you, maybe.

9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long.
The only things Cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they're in pain.

10. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire.
Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.

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