Computer Geek Quiz

  1. I have moss growing:
    A) In my garden
    B) In my bathroom
    C) In my kitchen
    D) On my teeth

  2. When I open my mouth at parties, people:
    A) Listen
    B) Ease away slowly
    C) Stuff a live weasel down my throat

  3. I think computers are:
    A) Uninteresting
    B) Interesting
    C) Too damn small for the stuff I want to do

  4. I think sheep are:
    A) Uninteresting
    B) Interesting
    C) Annoyingly far away from where I live

  5. The Usenet Oracle is:
    A) A pack of weenies who think about "Lisa" way too much
    B) Interesting
    C) Not appreciative of the great answers I write; the Priesthood is out to get me

  6. The gender I desire to have sexual relations with is:
    A) Difficult to understand
    B) Impossible to understand
    C) Clearly from a different planet
    D) How should I know? I've only seen pictures

  7. Bill Gates is:
    A) Bill who?
    B) Very wealthy
    C) Head of Microsoft, which produces some widely used products
    D) The Antichrist

  8. In general, people:
    A) Like me
    B) Don't like me
    C) People? What people?

  9. My friends are:
    A) Diverse
    B) People I know from work or school
    C) Wearing the same clothing I am

  10. My dream vacation is:
    A) Tibet
    B) Europe
    C) California
    D) In a room with lots of fluorescent lights and an unlimited supply of coffee

  11. My job prospects are:
    A) Abysmal
    B) Adequate
    C) I'll never be out of work, you hear me? Never!
    D) They pay people to do this?

  • Score 0 for each A, 1 for each B, 2 for each C, and 3 for each D.
  • 19 or more : Yep. You're a computer geek, all right.
  • 13 - 18 : You're a geek of some stripe or another.
  • 7 - 12 : Probably not a geek, but watch it...
  • 0 - 6 : If you're of the opposite sex, could you leave a note for me in the personals column? Please? Hello?
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