Stories/Jokes: Off-Color Humor

Pumpkin Incident

Courtesy of Courtesy of P.F.

This was recently in the Seattle Paper.... The title of the article was "Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested a 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, he was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.

The suspect went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, he failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until the police officer approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," the officer said. "I walked up to him and he's just banging away at this pumpkin." The officer went on to describe what happened when she approached the alleged pumpkin molester.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"

"A pumpkin..... Sh*t..... is it midnight already?

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