Stories/Jokes: Regional Humor

You might be from Jersey if.....

1. You refer to the beach as the shore.

2. You know what a Wawa is, and you know the location of at least 15 of them.

3. You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.

4. You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy.

5. You've run out of money on the Parkway.

6. You still haven't seen that many gardens.

7. You still can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.

8. There are no self serve gas stations.

9. You know what a "jug handle" is.

10. You only go to the "City" for day trips.

11. Route 18 doesn't freak you out at night.

12. You believe the Statue of Liberty is in NJ.

13. You don't take any shit from anybody especially people from New York and Philly, because you live here for christ's sake and just who the hell do they think they are anyway? Invading our beaches and bars, they are just here for the damn summer and they think they own the damn place.

14. At least three people in your family still listen to Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen and actually seen him play with the E-Street band in the Stone Pony down in Asbury.

15. You know Paramus has 4 major malls within 3 miles of each other.

16. You have mandatory recycling enforced by law.

17. You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in NJ if the Nets didn't blow."

18. In high school you worked at Friendly's.

19. You've spent St. Patrick's day in Belmar.

20. You have nearly been run over by a Tram Car in Wildwood.

21. You have a grandparent who didn't move to Florida and retired in Cape May, Ocean Grove, Brick, or Toms River.

22. Donald Trump is mentioned daily in your local newspaper.

23. Your school actually made good Iitalian"hoagies."

24. The Jets/Giants game has started fights in your family.

25. You have been waiting the last 10 years for the Yankees to move to the Meadowlands.

26. You can smell when it's low tide.

27. You own an annual pass to Great Adventure and you had to take the monkey by-pass at the Safari cause your dad had padded-vinyl roof on his car.

28. You say "water" weird.

29. Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in April.

30. You know that ACME is a supermarket, not just a Warner Bros creation.

31. Because your town was founded before 1776, all restaurants, bars, and shops have 'ye', 'olde', or 'colonial in their names.

32. You know the myth of the New Jersey devil and you think it lives as Gov. Christie Todd Whitman.

33. You think the Olive Garden is crap and should never have opened in NJ.

34. You remember when Hoboken was a ghetto not overpriced.

35. There is a fruit and veggie stand down the road.

36. You like vinegar or gravy on your french fries.

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