40 Things Never Said By Southerners
40. Oh I just couldn't. Hell, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000,
Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch
Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this
house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the
dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not
safe.
30. Wrasslin's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to
Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too
big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another
dog.
24. Who's Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork
rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty
habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that
steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too
big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C
drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or
broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super
Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09.
Checkmate.
08. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean
sprouts?
06. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
05. I don't have a favorite college
team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too
long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.